I've discovered that for me, one of the hardest things about collecting more birthdays, is the tendency of reflecting more on what used to be, rather than looking towards what is going to be. The farther I get down life's path, my thoughts tend to be more absorbed by "Used To's" rather than by "Going To's".
It sounds depressing (and I guess it is!) but I find real hopes and dreams almost impossible to create. I have become so cynical and hardened by "reality".
I want to change. I know it's possible to live life with a "Going to" mindset! I want to figure out how to really do it - not just give lip service to the idea, which is self-defeating and probably worse in the long run.
I used to be thin, fit and energetic. I used to be creative. I think I used to be happier and prettier. I definitely had a more idealistic and hopeful view of my world. And then age - and life - happened!
But today I can still be all those things, and more! It might prove to be a little more challenging than it was before all of life's experiences, but it's not impossible.
It all depends on what I focus on, doesn't it.
I find inspiration in music. One of my favorite artists is Cherie Call. In her song "Believe" she suggests - "You don't have to change the world, you might do it anyway! Believe!"
It really is all in how I choose to see my world.
So, I'm going to... look into classes at the University, reclaim my Nikon D90, take a walk after work (as the days are getting a little longer - and warmer!), and fill my world and mind with positives.
Cherie Call reminds me, "Once you see [your cup's] half full, it overflows every time that you Believe"
I'm feeling better already!
To constantly look backwards gives you a stiff neck - not to mention all the things you miss while you're not paying attention to the road ahead of you.
Here's to the future! It's Going To be Great!