Living with a Puppy means...

Life with Rex is like living in a perpetual revolving door.

Each day revolves around the following activities:

Standing outside waiting for puppy to go potty countless times a day and in all kinds of weather!

Having to step over dog squeaky toys, chew toys, bones and other puppy paraphernalia.

Lots of play, (remember all that puppy paraphernalia)

intermixed with a little sleep here and there,

And the occasional bath.

No wonder I feel a little dizzy and like I'm not getting anything accomplished.

All I can say is it's just a good thing he's so cute!

It's Up to Me

I am grateful for the lessons even a puppy can teach me.

We are in the middle of crate training at night.  T-Rex is not yet sleeping through the night consistently, and, honestly, it is getting old.  I feel like I have a new baby again and I am too old for the sleep deprivation that brings!

Last night he was up at 1:06 am (yes, I remember the exact moment!).  We first thought we could tough it out, ha!  He had a Urinary Tract Infection a couple of weeks ago and I was wondering if that was back, so Dave (thank you!) got up and took him outside.  Rex went back to his crate

I didn't hear from him again until 6:12 am.  After I took him outside since it was still so dark and cold I decided I wanted to crawl back under my covers.  So, I put Rex back to bed.  He was not happy about that, but I was determined to exercise some tough, I'll-show-you-who's-in-charge, kind of love.  I knew all his needs had been met and he just wanted to play.  I stayed in my bed and listened as he complained loudly, hoping to capture anyone's attention.   He protested off and on (mostly on) for over an hour before I finally got into the shower so I didn't have to hear him anymore.

While I was lying in bed trying to ignore his complaints I was reminded of a valuable principle - We do not have control over another's actions, only over our responses.   I could not control Rex's complaining (getting him out of the crate was not an option) but I was able to control how I responded to his incessant barking and howling!  I was not happy about his actions, but I did not allow my emotions to be taken hostage by a little puppy!  What could have been an incredibly bad start to a day (I know, because it has happened before!) was instead an empowering lesson on the capacity I really do have to control my thoughts and thereby my emotions, actions and results -  even when the world around me is bidding me do otherwise.

For all you animal rights activists that might be reading this:
Rex was totally fine when I finally released him from his crate!
Oh, and I do plan on contacting the vet to get her take on whether that UTI could be acting up again.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes for 2012

A few changes have come into my life already this new year.

Change #1
I returned home after working full time for the past  5 1/2 years at a local Charter School. It was a good experience, a good environment and I worked with some great people, but it was time to move on.  I needed more time to dedicate to my Foot Zoning as I look to graduate from my program early this summer.  Dave and I decided the new year was a good time to make the break and focus on this path I have been placed on.  I was anxious to finally have some time to myself to re-group and "breathe".

All this started to become a little more complicated when my son, Travis, introduced me to Change #2:

Travis with T-Rex the Goldendoodle

He had gone with my other son and his wife to look at puppies so Cait could have a companion while Justin is deployed this year.

Justin and Cait

They found their sweet puppy Sloane that day.

Cait holding Sloane

While they were looking at puppies, T-Rex climbed up into Travis' lap and as they say, the rest is history.  Of course, he was encouraged to bring the puppy home by his younger sister, Laura, who promised to help take care of it!  Yeah, right!

Change #3:
I now have two sons deployed with the National Guard.  Travis left January 16, 2012.

Heading out for a 14 month deployment

"Wait," you ask,  "I thought he brought a puppy home just a couple of weeks earlier, didn't he know he was deploying?"  Oh yes, my dear friends, those are some very good questions which may be the topic of another post another day.  Which brings us to the biggest, most life-changing and unforeseen change of all...

Change #4...  I am now the foster parent of an 11-week old goldendoodle puppy named T-Rex.

There is no doubt about it, T-Rex is an adorable, very smart and basically very good puppy.

He is snuggly and soft and makes cute puppy noises and he is playful and tries so very hard to please.

However, he is still very much a PUPPY and it has been a HUGE adjustment.  It is like suddenly having a new baby in the house and I am wiped out.

The title of this blog, Going Cuckoo,  is so fitting now!  There are times I feel like that's what's happening!  I hope to keep the blog up-to-date on both T-Rex's progress as well as mine.  I am pleased to report, I have gained back a little of my equilibrium.  For a while there my world was spinning out of control!  I totally relate to mothers of little children again.  I find myself eating because of stress and  I am once again fighting the desire to medicate myself with Dr. Pepper!

Some updates:

1.  Rex had a very bad week two weeks ago.  He was like a crazy dog!  It got so bad I finally called the vet to see if it could be food related.  They invited me to bring Rex in for an exam and we went as much for Rex as for me!  I was totally overwhelmed!

The Vet's findings and recommendations:
 - Turns out Rex had a urinary tract infection.  They put him on some medicine and he has been like a different puppy ever since.
-  Rex has very dry skin and they gave me some medicated shampoo to try to help relieve that.
-  Dr. Kara empowered me with some coaching and encouragement on potty and crate training
-  Dr. Kara also recommended that I get Rex enrolled in a Doggie Daycare a couple of days a week, to give him some socialization, give our other dog a break as his wrestling partner and personal chew toy and give me some breathing room.

Happily I can report that things have improved immensely.
I am still overwhelmed.
I still don't feel like I have a solid block of time to do much of anything with.
But, Rex is sweet and I am becoming a doting grandma!
This blog, at least for the next year or so, will chronicle The Good, The Bad and The Goofy times of life with T-Rex the Goldendoodle!

What changes are you experiencing this year?

In Loving Memory...

Charles Ammon Merrell

1934-2011

“Chuck”

Charles Ammon Merrell (Chuck) left this world April 29, 2011 after an astounding three year battle with Pancreatic Cancer. Throughout this experience, he exhibited great courage and a never-failing sense of humor. He has been the rock and foundation of his family for decades. Using his keen vision for the truly important matters of life as well as the knack for humor that characterized his life, he displayed a remarkable ability to calm a crisis with his sunny attitude. Living with Chuck and associating with him was a joy to all who knew him.

Chuck was born Jan. 18, 1934, the eighth child and fifth son of Ernest Leroy Merrell and Verna May Moffett, in Virden, New Mexico. They moved across the Gila River to Duncan, Arizona when he was only a few months old, and he was raised there. He joined the Navy in 1952 and served a four year term of enlistment, serving on the aircraft carrier, USS Midway, as a radioman when she took her world cruise in 1954 and in 1955 when she was part of the 7th Fleet in the Western Pacific. He met Patricia Lee Porter in San Diego, California, and they were married in the Arizona, Mesa Temple, June 4, 1957. They raised their four children, Kathleen Louise (Dave) Boyer, Judith Lynne (Hal) Fitzgerald, Steven Charles (Jeanne) Merrell, and Kent David (Elizabeth) Merrell in Oceanside, California.

Chuck was a faithful member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He honorably fulfilled many callings in the church, including temple worker in the Bountiful and San Diego Temples, and as Bishop of the Cave Junction, Oregon Ward. He loved to help others. You could always count on him to be there whenever and wherever there was a need. He was released from his last calling only a few days ago when it became apparent that he could no longer serve.

He is survived by his wife, Patricia, his four children, 22 grandchildren and two great-grandchildren, and two brothers, Evan (June) and David, as well as numerous nieces, nephews and cousins. He will be sorely missed here, but we know he gave a great report on his life and family when he arrived on the other side of the veil. Undoubtedly there was a wonderful family reunion as he re-joined his parents and other family members. We are comforted to know that we will all be re-united at a later date.

We appreciate all those who have been involved with caring for our husband and Dad. We wish to thank Dr. David Horsley, Dr. Jonathan Whisenant and Dr. Jane MacPherson for the loving care they have given Chuck during his illness. We also want to thank Debbie and the other aides of the Utah Hospice Specialists for their concern and the great service they gave.

Funeral services will be held 11 a.m. Thursday, May 5, 2011 in the Bountiful 16th Ward Chapel, 720 E. 550 N. Friends may visit Wed. from 6-8 p.m. at Lindquist’s Bountiful Mortuary, 727 N. 400 E. and Thurs. from 9:45-10:45 a.m. at the church prior to services. Interment Lakeview Memorial Park, Bountiful.

The Taming of the Screw

I feel kind of like this egg.

It seems kind of ridiculous that I should feel this way.

I'm sure many people who may be observing me from "the outside" feel I am being ridiculous.

But, the feelings are real. The demands at work are like that screw tightening down against the egg. I am mentally and physically drained. I need to find an effective (and legal!) way to relieve the pressure.

If not I fear I will truly Go Cuckoo!! :)

Any ideas?

My Wanderlust

image: http://foreignpolicydesign.com wanderlust (ˈwɒndəˌlʌst)
— n
	a great desire to travel and rove about

It started innocently enough.

My husband and I were planning a weekend away, nothing extravagant, somewhere within driving distance from our home. But, everywhere we considered did not work out for one reason or another. This, combined with a seed of hope regarding a long dreamed of trip to Italy in a couple of years, germinated into a case of wanderlust of monumental proportions!

Google became my accomplice. We spent countless hours together planning and dreaming of fabulous places across the globe just waiting to be explored. Money & Time, while an integral part of my plans, began to seem like much smaller obstacles under the influence of my wanderlust. Nothing seemed insurmountable in my quest to get anywhere besides “here”.

And then today, almost as quickly as it came, my wanderlust had subsided. I woke to the sun poking its head through the clouds; the birds singing their happy songs and the creek rushing down its path outside my bedroom window. Honestly, I’m certain the wanderlust is still there, temporarily satisfied by a good nights sleep and a beautiful spring day, but for now at least, I am content with my little spot on this big planet called earth.

From the Rooftops

I have an incredible urge to scream from a rooftop,

"I HATE WINTER!"

Do you think anyone would hear me? Do you think anyone would care?

I say I would like to do that, but in reality, I really would not want to because...

1. rooftops are high - I hate heights

2. rooftops in the winter are icy and I would be afraid of sliding off the roof

3. its probably cold on the roof

So, I am screaming (from the warmth of my living room) into cyberspace for the whole world to "hear"..

I HATE WINTER. I HATE THE COLD. I HATE THE ICE. I HATE THE SNOW. I HATE THE DREARY LIGHT. I HATE DRIVING IN THE SNOW AND ICE.

I NEED WARM SUNSHINE, please....

I WOULD BE A LOT MORE PLEASANT TO BE AROUND WITH A LITTLE WARMTH AND SUNSHINE!

On Leaving Facebook

Why does my decision to simplify my life and leave Facebook (sort of) make me feel like I am dying.

Scanning my list of "friends" I selected a few to send notes of "Please don't forget me...", dumping all my contact information into the note, hoping to remain friends without our beloved Facebook connection! Some dear friends, lost once and found again through Facebook, I don't want to lose again and so the idea of severing our Facebook relationship is troubling.

But, really, does merely being listed in my friend registry on Facebook mean we are friends, in the real sense of the word? In some ways we fool ourselves into thinking we are being friends, connected by status updates. Sure, it's nice to have found our long-lost friends, but what do we do with them once we find them; store them neatly in our friend list, and then what?

I have thought about making the break for a long time, but the idea of losing that thread of contact has kept me logging on - even though many of the people I am most worried about losing track of seldom even update their Facebook profiles, much less communicate with me!

I'm ready to start living once again in the real world. I will still have my Facebook account, so if you just can't communicate with me any other way, please send me a friend request and explain your plight - just be sure to include your email address too!

It is almost like I'm dying, and I guess in the magical realm of cyberdom I am. But, I'm counting on a life after death, we'll see how it goes!

Help Wanted ~ Seriously, people!

I am a 52 year old, happily married female (and mother of six awesome young adult children) looking for help in the following areas:

1. Fashion - I am looking to re-define my fashion style now that I am getting more seasoned and mature! Can someone help me learn how to use modern trends in subtle ways to keep me up-to-date? I don't want to be left behind, but I also do NOT want to look trendy/trashy (which is what frequently happens when a woman my age tries to adopt modern trends!) I want to look classy, not trashy or frumpy! I need help with color, styles and accessories (jewelry, shoes, etc).

2. Interior Decorating - I want to find relatively simple techniques to add flair to my surroundings. I can't do any major remodeling, but I want to learn about details I can add to a room to make it "pop"! I want to learn about color, design, patterns, texture, furniture, art and clever accessories I can use to update my home.

I have learned about all of this in the past, but I feel like I am in serious need of an update!
If you know of any blogs or websites that can help me in these areas, please leave me a message with the url.

Thank you!

Something Yummy Looking

I have a day off, thanks to MLK day. I studied the life of MLK once, and while I really don't respect the choices he made in his personal life, he did do a lot for human rights - plus, he provided me with a day off of work! Thank you MLK.

Today, in honor of MLK I am celebrating the human spirit and exploring blogs! My kids would say I'm stalking, but I figure if these people didn't want others to read their blogs they 1) would not write them or 2) they would make them private. Anyway.. I am constantly amazed at how creative and gifted so many people are and I'm happy they share their talents with others like me.
One blog I stumbled upon this morning is Bubsies Boutique. It features "handmade gifts for your little one" which I don't have, but the reason I'm sharing the blog is for this delicious sounding recipe she recently posted.

Maybe it's because I'm hungry, but this looks Yummy!

Time with My Man!

Yesterday I spent the day with my best friend.

Dave and I spent the night of our anniversary at the same hotel we stayed in 28 years ago.

We had dinner in the same restaurant (sans the wedge salad we had that first night as Mr. & Mrs.)

It was fun to reflect on the past 28 years and the many blessings we have received. Our six children are at the top of the list. In fact, most of our favorite memories included them.

We had breakfast the next morning at Lamb's Grill Cafe. They serve a great breakfast. I had a vegetable omelet and hash browns. If you're ever looking for a satisfying breakfast, try Lamb's Cafe on Main St., Salt Lake City.

We headed up to Park City after breakfast. It was great to get out of the depressing inversion that has settled into the Salt Lake Valley. I was glad the weather was relatively mild - I only needed a polar fleece parka as we wandered through the outlet mall in Park City.

After our day in Park City we headed back home. We decided to stop by our favorite Indian restaurant for an early dinner. The restaurant wasn't opened yet, so I popped into the women's clothing store next door to see what I could find.

I was pleasantly surprised to find a dress for the upcoming wedding of Justin & Cait!! This is a major breakthrough - I have been searching for a dress for weeks. I actually bought two of the same dress. It's a two-piece ensemble (skirt & jacket). They only had it in Petite sizes. The one size fits on top, the other size fits on bottom! Both dresses were on sale and together totaled less than anything else I have found (less than $100). One dress also cost less than a tailor would charge me to alter the larger piece. Everyone thinks I'm crazy, but it's very logical in my mind! I have an acceptable dress to wear to my son's wedding, and that's all that matters!

We then enjoyed a bowl of nice warm soup and some chicken curry at the Indian restaurant next door.

We ended the evening at home, comfortable in our own bed, watching An Affair to Remember with Cary Grant.

It was a wonderful time with me and my man of 28 years. I feel so blessed.

Me & My Man!

28 years ago tomorrow (January 14, 1983) I was sealed for time and all eternity (married) to my best friend in the Salt Lake Temple. It was a beautiful day, that first day of Mr. & Mrs. The sun was shining, the sky was blue and it wasn't even that cold!

Where has the time gone? Looking back we can see so far. Looking ahead we can see forever! I love you, Dave. Thanks for loving me all these years.

Forever will be so much better having you by my side.

So, it's been awhile..

I bet you didn't even notice!

I wish I could say I have been to the gym, repeating my last posting's activities.

There is not a lot to report on. And, having a very strong suspicion that my blog goes unread is not much of a motivator to come up with things to write about. That is probably why most blogs eventually fall into the oblivion of cyberspace.

I had an awesome Thanksgiving. Just for the record, I must say it was near perfect! I was quite pleased with myself! I didn't get any pictures, but they would not have done justice to the feast! What I loved most was being home from work for one entire week! I loved it! I loved having the kids home and having my almost-daughter-in-law join us. I realized later that there was not much discussion about things we were grateful for. But with 27 people crammed into my home, we were lucky to just be able to get our food and eat. You can read about many things I am grateful for on my other blog Musings of the Mama B.

Just because I have not written does not mean I have not been thinking. I have been thinking a lot, just trying to organize those thoughts into some kind of coherent form!

Looking forward to the Christmas season!

Oh Yeah!

Today, I...

Went to Work.

Went to the gym.

Had a great Pilates Reformer workout with Janna.

Decided to stick around for the next class,

which was...

We did some of this

And some of that
And, just in case you're wondering...

I was able to do it all!

Oh yeah, that's what I'm talkin bout! Bring It On!!

Bliss

Sometimes I need to be nudged. Today was one of those days. A few days ago I had planned to spend all Saturday alone with Dave - we hardly see each other anymore and I felt the need to reconnect. But then I couldn't sleep last night, finally pulling myself out of bed late morning, groggy and moving very slowly. I hate waking up late, it throws off my whole day.

The sun was shining when I woke up (one nice thing about waking up later!)and Dave suggested we go for a bike ride. One part of me thought that sounded like an awesome idea. The other part of me, the lazy part that was experiencing an overdose of inertia, needed convincing.

Dave and the less-lazy part of me finally prevailed and we eventually found ourselves on a lovely bike trail along the Weber River.
I'm so glad Dave nudged me to get up and get outside. It was total bliss, a perfect combination of pleasant temp, beautiful scenery, lots of sunshine and physical exercise.

After the bike ride we got a quick sushi snack, did some shopping and went to see Life As We Know It (cute). A very good day after all! Thanks, Dave. I love you.

Last Night...

Watched Karate Kid for the first time last night. I know it was in the theaters ages ago, but it just got to my movie venue of choice - Redbox. Laura "rented" it with a free code a couple of nights ago, so it will actually cost her a couple of bucks. She didn't even watch it! But I told her she should because it was good!

Sleep evaded me most of the night. I didn't get to bed till very late. I was finally on the brink of sleep about 1:30 am (to all my night owl readers out there, that's late for me!) when I heard the garage door go up (it's attached to the house and very loud, ugh!). Then a few minutes later I heard the garage door go down and realized my son had decided to drive home instead of sleeping here. I started worrying about him driving that far that late and couldn't sleep. (Okay, so he is 25 and getting ready to jump into the pool of matrimony, but I am still his mother!) After tossing and turning for what seemed like FOREVER, Dave started snoring! Exasperated, I got out of bed, took my pillow and a blanket to the couch and finally dozed off.

Today Dave redeemed himself by making me a yummy breakfast. Now we are tossing around a couple of ideas of what to do the rest of the day. Looks like a perfect day for some bicycling - not many of those kind of days left this year, should probably take advantage of the warm sunshine.

Hope your day is a great one!

Coming to Terms...

Today is my birthday.

I am 52!

You may be tempted to feel sorry for me in my old age. Heaven knows I have! But as I've wrestled with this whole aging thing I have discovered some hidden benefits. I want to share a few with you today, as my birthday gift to you.

1. I am much more comfortable in my own skin. Getting older has given me the freedom to be ME. I still like to present myself as best I can, but I have come to terms with who I am and that I don’t need others approval – at least to the degree I did when I was younger.

2. I think I have mellowed out with age. While others may challenge this, I am very aware of a shift in many of my attitudes. (This will be the topic of a future blog post.)

3. Finally, most people over 40 need reading glasses to see things up close. While this can be a hassle, I have discovered an upside - the worse my eyes get, the less wrinkles I seem to have! It’s all in how you look at things!

I want to discover more joy in this phase of the journey. If you have some to share, please feel free to leave a comment.

Death by Gym

I am going to be D.E.A.D tomorrow.

Hopefully not literally, but if you never hear from me again, check the obituaries and know that you were among the first to know.

But I am going to be D.E.A.D. tomorrow. So dead sore I won't be able to move tomorrow.

I neglected reserving a spot for my Pilates class this afternoon and since no one was signed up this morning the teacher made other plans.

I even went to work today, instead of staying home in bed (which at 6:00am seemed like the best thing to do to try and get better) so I could go to my Pilates class.

You know it’s that whole responsible thing I seem to have a problem with.

Anyway I decided that if I couldn’t do Pilates I would simply go to the next class that was offered.

(Did I mention I was going to be D.E.A.D tomorrow?!)

BodyPump. Sounded fun and good for me. I was even early, anxious to be a part of a new class. I mean, how hard could it be? A little weight-lifting? No problem!

D.E.A.D.

I knew I was in trouble when, after finishing a series of killer lunges, the teacher had us kneel down on one knee for a grand finale and when I tried to stand up I collapsed in a heap. The girl next me asked if I was okay. “Yes,” I replied, crawling to the corner to try and pull myself up, only to discover that my arms had been transformed into wet spaghetti noodles too.

D.E.A.D.

The sad thing is that several of the women who had been in my class felt pumped up enough to stay for the next class – BodyAttack. It was all I could do to drag myself into the locker room!

D.E.A.D

You can leave your condolences, or if you would rather, donations to my bank account would also be appreciated!

Avete Zumba?

A while ago I wrote about my Pilates Path. I have found my group class and always feel better after a great workout on the reformer (thanks Janna!).

I have recently discovered a new (for me) awesome workout in

I've known about Zumba for a long time, but I had never experienced it until a couple of weeks ago. I am hooked! It is so fun and such an amazing workout. A girl in today's class was wearing a bodybugg.

After our one hour Zumba class, her bodybugg calculated she had burned 800 calories!! And she had fun doing it!

I approached my first Zumba class with a little uneasiness, not sure what to expect or how I would fit in. Any anxiety quickly disappeared as the music was cranked up and we started dancing. Everyone was just there to have fun and we were all so busy trying to keep up with the teacher we didn't have time to think about anything else!

Pilates is an integral part of my fitness regime, and now so is Zumba! You should Zumba too!

(the time I spend in the steam room afterwards is not too bad either!)

If you want to know a great place to Zumba, leave a comment with your email and I will get you all the details!

Labor Days and Brownies

Today I had a very Lazy Labor Day.

I slept in until 10:00 am.

I watched more TV today than I have watched in the past six months combined:

Two (or was it three?) episodes of Bones,

The end of Never Been Kissed,

and, No Reservations.

I am in a real funk.

I feel like I am flatlined.

It hit me today during a commercial for Martha Stewart's TV show how very little creativity I am expressing right now - in any area of my life.

I can't even find something interesting to write about on my blog!

I'm not depressed, just a little empty. It's kind of like when you make brownies. You have this bowl of rich, creamy chocolate. After you've filled the pan with batter and it's tucked away in the oven, you still have the bowl (and spoon) with chocolate brownie batter on it (because no one ever puts all the brownie batter into the oven, right?!) So, what do you do? Wash it out? No! You lick that bowl and spoon until they are almost clean. And it's always kind of sad when there's no more brownie batter to lick clean! So, there you have it - I feel like a used up bowl of brownie batter! Nice. See what I mean... there's just nothing left!! I need to refill that bowl! But, how?!

Lest you think my weekend was dreary, fear not!

I did have a very fun time being silly with my girls.

I was happy that I was able to see most of my kids.

I loved being home with Dave, he takes such good care of me.

I was grateful for the time to rest.

My bowl is actually quite full, isn't it?!

How do you fill your "bowl"?